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In her 20s, a woman’s breasts are like melons, round and firm. In her 30s and 40s, they are like pears, still nice, hanging a bit. After 50, they are like onions.” “Onions?” the son asks. “Yes. You see them and they make you cry.” This infuriated his wife and daughter. The daughter asks, “Mom, how many different kinds of willies are there?” The mother smiles and says, “Well, dear, a man goes through three phases also. In his 20s, his willy is like an oak tree, mighty and hard. In his 30s and 40s, it’s like a birch, flexible but reliable. After his 50s, it’s like a Christmas tree.” “A Christmas tree?” the daughter asks. “Yes, dead from the root up and the balls are just for decoration.”A little girl and boy are fighting about the differences between the sexes, and which one is better. Finally, the boy drops his pants and says, “Here’s something I have that you’ll never have!” The little girl is pretty upset by this, since it is clearly true, and runs home crying. A while later, she. I just couldn’t make it in until an hour ago and, for me, it is never a good day unless there is a workout in there somewhere. It is nearing the end of my program, just one more set of lat pull downs and then off to the bench and I’m out. As the last reps are being completed I am invited into a conversation nearby by a couple of the staff members. Not officially invited, mind you, but I can concentrate on little else. Dawn, a beautifully fit brunette, is chatting with Chrissy, the woman with the equally model-like good looks and long blond hair. As they are wrapping it up I hear Dawn say, “I just need to get off, I’m so horny today!” With that, she leaves her associate and heads toward another part of the weight room. “Damn!” I say inside my head as I see her luscious ass casually walk in front of me, raising my already elevated heart rate. “I’d sure love to tap that!” “Yeah right. Mike, you are such a poser. You act like you are some sex machine and your own wife never even wants.
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